


Open Your Purse and Kiss Me Like You Didn't Know I Had A Tractor

by Pepsi (Pepsiiii)



Series: One offs [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Royalty, farming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepsiiii/pseuds/Pepsi
Summary: “Well Kenma, I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi!”“Tadashi.”Wow. Forward. Okay. (This reminded Tadashi of that time his best friend shot 6 holes into a tree with his shotgun and then got married to prove a point about his impulse control or lack thereof. It was a beautiful wedding. Tadashi might’ve cried he can’t say for certain. Akaashi and Noya make a beautiful couple).OR; Yamaguchi is a farmer. Kenma isn't
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: One offs [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936612
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Open Your Purse and Kiss Me Like You Didn't Know I Had A Tractor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [todotsukki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/todotsukki/gifts).



> For a winner of my raffle!! enjoy babe!

Now, Tadashi was no up incoming member of society or nuthin’; no major leader trying to change the world one trade deal at a time or an ambitious priest spreading the word of the good book to all and everyone willing to listen. Tadashi was just a guy with a farm, some horses (Peaches and Cream) a cow or three (Buttermilk, Biscuit and the youngest, Cornstarch), and a dog (Gravy). He was a simple man trying to live a relatively simple life. He strived to help those he could, make more than a meager living off his farm, always have some moderately clean wears on his back, never upset the high powers above, and show compassion to his fellow man—the works. 

So he wasn’t too against letting some pretty stranger sit in his kitchen and stare at him as he made some lunch. 

The stranger was… _ different _ than anyone Tadashi had ever seen around these parts. They were dressed pretty regularly he supposed, nothing too interesting there (some jeans, a simple cotton shirt, some kinda tattered robe or something on their head) but what made them stand out was how clean they were. Tadashi was clean too, he tried to keep himself as clean as possible but he knew no matter what he did he’d still have some dirt, some grime, some elbow grease somewhere. It was almost entirely impossible to live where he did (or anywhere outside of a palace or something) and not have stains on your clothes. So Tadashi was admittedly confused about the (almost elegant) stranger in his home with the rumpled jeans (clean), old shirt (clean) and tattered, mess of a robe (clean) on their person. 

But Tadashi has met his fair share of weird people in his life. Once there was this one guy, tall as a fuckin’ oak tree, who came through here asking for directions to the town a few forests over. Tadashi saw his well-kept hair and freshly pressed suit and knew he had to be of some kinda royal descent or something, but he was never one to pry and reach into someone else’s business. He began rambling on and off about “ _ I need to see the man with the hair as white as snow and eyes as big as big-ass fucking diamonds! Or marbles! Or maybe a roll of cheese? Maybe just a wheel… What are other large round things? Oh by the way my name is Lev, what’s yours?”.  _ The guy then, after hearing Tadashi’s introduction and directions smiled and wandered off into the woods, never to be seen again. Tadashi later learned that he was the king of a neighboring nation coming to visit his lover or something. It was the damndest thing. If nothing else Tadashi got paid for his generosity by being invited to a ball or something. He just felt uncomfortable the whole time anyway and didn’t think he enjoyed the feeling of sticking out like the sorest thumb in a jar full of pinkies. 

“So! Where you from?”

Tadashi hopes his voice didn’t come off too timid or anything like that. It was a curse of his— confident as an ox with the shaky voice of a cock turned hen. He let his hands work mindlessly at the sandwiches he was preparing for lunch (bread, cheese, tomato, ham, then a little tomato and pepper paste spread on the last slice of bread) and waited for the guest to speak.

“I have no real home.”

Ah. Another weirdo.  _ Wonderful.  _

“Got a name?”

“Kenma.”

Kenma… Kenma.  _ Kenma Kenma Kenma Kenma…. Ken… Ma. Kenny. Kennma. Kenma.  _

Yep! Definitely weird out-of-towner. The name almost rings a bell but for the life of him, Tadashi couldn’t tell how. Seeing how Kenma wasn’t trying to dish out any information, nor was Tadashi really trying to find out, he just smiles and brings the simple tray of food over to the table with a happy, friendly air to him. 

“Well Kenma, I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi!”

“Tadashi.”

Wow. _Forward_. Okay. (This reminded Tadashi of that time his best friend shot 6 holes into a tree with his shotgun and then got married to prove a point about his impulse control or lack thereof. It was a beautiful wedding. Tadashi might’ve cried he can’t say for certain. Akaashi and Noya make a beautiful couple). 

&

They’re outside taking care of the cows. Kenma’s been at Tadashi’s palace for a little over 2 weeks now and in the time they’ve been there Tadashi has learned a lot.

Kenma was (and may Tadashi’s mother excuse his foul mouth when describing someone as kind as Kenma) fucking beautiful. They weren’t beautiful in any way that Tadashi could quantify, nor were they beautiful in any way Tadashi could explain with big phrases or waxing poetry. 

But they were beautiful like waking up in the middle of the night to pee and realizing you don’t actually gotta go, it was just a dream and you’re fine and you can go right back to bed. Their eyes are like milking a cow and nothing falling out of the bucket (so so satisfying and has a way of making Tadashi wanna take a sip, drink his fill, look into it forever before coming to the pleasing, sobering, heart-stopping realization he can look at it as long as he wants because it’s  _ his damn cow _ and his cow has milk  _ constantly _ so anytime he wants it he  _ just had to find it. _ He’s a little lost with his point but the eyes on Kenma were mesmerizing); their hands as soft as freshly-made dough, lips as pretty as those new gold plated frames at the penny store within the town (the nice ones with the jingly bells above the door and clean floors no matter how busy the day was); hair two colors like some kinda cat or something (Tadashi doesn’t have a cat so he can’t say it’s a 1:1 likeness). They smelt like the freshest of sheets and clean bathwater no matter how long they were here for, and the ivory soap never went all brown and nasty after they were done. It was like all the grime of the world just didn’t stick to them. It was  _ mighty _ attractive.

Tadashi also learned they were a son of a bitch. Rude little stranger from who-knows-where saying and doing whatever they wanted. They didn’t mince their words nor did they ever hold their tongue. They said everything in that same bored tone of theirs, never more, never less and by god, Tadashi couldn’t previously say he had a thing for the monotone inflections but lord he totally had a thing for monotone inflections. 

So now with this newfound feeling in his chest (like the autumn wind on a summer day or winter storm in the middle of spring, unnatural and unknown to Tadashi. Something he never knew could happen to a simple man like himself. He liked it a lot, he liked it _ far more than he cared to dwell on _ ) was constantly on his mind. Especially right now when he had a job to do.

“Okay, so what you’re gonna do is just pick up the eggs and then—”

“I have something to tell you.”

“No Kenma you cannot eat the eggs raw. I’ve tried it.”

“I don’t want to eat the damn egg raw.”

“You’re the one who asked. I just answerin’.”

“I didn’t even— _ whatever _ . Anyway.”

Kenma looked up and stared at Tadashi and wow suddenly maybe it was autumn or something because the chill that goes down Tadashi’s spine is so refreshing, so comforting in its short-lived tingle between his fingers and toes. When Kenma looked at him Tadashi felt like maybe the seasons were nothing more than whatever he was feeling that day. Sometimes bright and warm, other times cool and comforting; the hazy oranges and yellows of their eyes making everything else seem muted and gray in comparison. Maybe Tadashi was just a fool or maybe he was just a fool with a heart but either way, he was a fool and he was falling and hard. Oh well now Kenma was talking and Tadashi missed most of that but he caught “ _ I hope you’ll still accept me as I am. Even with our differences”. _

Damn. Wish he knew what they wanted him to accept them for. Just in case he asked them to repeat himself. 

Kenma wouldn’t. Wonderful.

&

They’re kissing now and it's heaven and Tadashi could die right now because the chapped feeling of Kenma’s lips on his own is so new, so nice, so sweet, and Tadashi thinks he’s got one foot in the heart filled grave already. Kenma leans back and they’re blushing (fuck) and Tadashi can hear his heart beating out of his chest and lord almighty things really couldn’t get any crazier than right now but— 

“How’s it feel to kiss royalty Tadashi?”

Oh. Oh,  _ there it is _ . 

Ah, Tadashi always playing chicken with god … always meeting royals on his farm. Fuck

“Mighty good. But let me do it again, just to make sure.”

  
And Kenma smiles and leans in again and the sun is falling, the sky is orange and the wind is blowing and  _ christ _ Tadashi has no idea how he got a member of the royal family in his arms but he did and now he’s here and he’s never been happier. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was okay, I literally never ever write these two and know nothing about them.
> 
> If you enjoyed go read my other fics :) comment your thoughts, praise me insistently, go on twitter and yell at me to be productive. It really means a lot when you do!
> 
> //Twt//@Burnttoastwbttr


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